Nerves Of Steel
by Julia451
Summary: A one-shot looking at what life at the Royal Fire Academy For Girls was like for Mai. At the reputation she quickly developed amongst her peers. Involves some Mai/Zuko Maiko although Zuko doesn't appear.


_Free cookies to anyone who knows where three of these lines come from..._

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><p>Mai honestly couldn't remember whether one of the most popular phrases during her time at the Royal Fire Academy For Girls had started after she'd taken up knife throwing or if she'd grown curious about knives as a result of hearing the phrase so often. She knew she'd had the reputation if not the moniker since her very first year at the school.<p>

Every girl was known for something. Ty Lee was the sweet, pretty one whom everyone liked. Saori was the genius who knew the answer to every question in class. Ruka was the no-nonsense big sister who kept everyone in line. Hikari was the tallest girl in their year and the one who proudly sneaked under the hole in the wall to the boys' side the most often. Azula was whichever of her many impressive traits or gifts she chose to focus on that day. And Mai?

"Sensei really has it in for you, Mai," her classmate said after their harshest instructor gave her a hard time when she made a mistake in training. "You all right?"

"Just fine," Mai said without taking her eyes off the target as she sent a shuriken flying into the center, her arm perfectly steady.

"Oh." The girl recovered from her confusion and said, "Okay, then..."

"Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it," everyone's favorite teacher assured her with a supportive pat on the back after her first day with a new type of weapon ended with abysmal results.

Mai told her, "I'm not worried," in complete nonchalance, as if it were the most trivial matter in the world to her, not even worth acknowledging.

The woman blinked but eventually smiled and said, "That's the spirit."

"My mother's the same way," her roommate said tenderly after glancing at her most recent letter from home. "Don't let it get to you."

Mai rolled the letter up and pushed it across the desk. She sighed with boredom and asked, "Why would I?" as she reached for her quill and ink to write her own letter to her uncle.

"Right..."

Ty Lee stopped by her room on her way back to say, "I'm sorry Akira didn't invite you to the beach this weekend, Mai," as a servant continued carrying her luggage to her own room down the hall. "I'm sure she will next month..."

She was busy reloading her freshly sharpened weapons into their holsters and replied distractedly, "Hope you had fun."

"Oh, the best yet!" Ty Lee backpedaled, as if she'd said something inappropriate, with, "I... hope you weren't too lonely around here..."

"Why would I be lonely?" Mai asked sincerely without looking up from her work.

"I..." It took a few seconds before Ty Lee said, "Never mind."

"Impressive, Mai," her instructor said as she examined the targets full of projectiles and made notes on her star pupil's latest work. "You qualify to advance to the next level. You should be very proud."

Mai bowed politely and said, "Thank you, ma'am," with perfect composure before strolling away through the yard. Other girls, beaming in awe at the display of skill and the praise, whispered their congratulations as she walked past and received a friendly nod in reply but no display of excitement or delight in her success.

"Weird..." someone ventured to observe.

"That's Mai for you," another said with a shrug.

"She's just jealous." The older girl stepped forward and put her hand on her shoulder after the bully finished her tirade of insults and stormed away, laughing her head off. "Don't listen to her."

"Listen to what?" Mai looked up at her with the same expression – that is, lack thereof – she'd worn throughout the entire encounter.

As she walked away, Mai heard another girl walk up to her advocate and whisper, "Nerves of steel, that one."

"Thank you for volunteering to show the class a perfect example of the laziness and impertinence unbecoming to a member of our great heritage," the history instructor said as he approached her desk.

Mai rose from her seat without flinching once and gave a perfect bow. "I apologize for letting my mind wander..."

"And I apologize that you found my lesson so boring that you could not be bothered to pay attention." When Mai said nothing to contradict this conclusion, he began circling around her, repeating in various ways what a disgrace such behavior was to the Academy and what horrible fate she could expect as a result if she did not adjust her attitude.

The girls around her blushed and shuddered in embarrassment for their classmate and the humiliation she must be enduring, but Mai stood as silent and expressionless as a statue throughout the whole ordeal. When it was over, she said, "Yes, master," in a perfect monotone that gave no them no clue what effect it had on her, folded her hands and bowed, then sat back down and looked straight ahead as if nothing had happened, causing most of her audience to gasp in shock as they stared at her in wide-eyed awe.

The whispers began as soon as the lesson was over: "Did you see that?"

"Incredible..."

"Like nerves of steel..."

Not until the princess was entirely out of earshot did the other girls in the yard dare approach her. "Are you all right, Mai?" one of them whispered fearfully.

"Never better," Mai answered with a hint of sarcasm. She turned and took aim again at the target she'd been focusing on a minute ago.

"Wow. If Princess Azula talked to _me_ like that, I'd be shaking like a leaf."

"Oh, she's fine. Nothing ever bothers Mai. Nerves of steel."

"Yeah, nerves of steel." The rest laughed at the witty remark as the knife soared through the air.

She was the stoic one. The quiet one. The eternally calm, unflappable, impenetrable one. The fearless one who faced everything with the same undisturbed serenity. No one could ever remember seeing her worried, upset, or in pain. Nothing and no one ever got to her. She was the one with nerves of steel.

Some of them looked at her with admiration; others, with disdain.

"I heard your friend Ty Lee disappeared."

"She always joked about wanting to run off with the circus," Mai explained. "I never knew she was seriously planning on doing it."

"You must miss her, huh?"

Mai shrugged and picked up a tunashrimp with her chopsticks. "She was nice."

"Well, don't let your emotions overwhelm you, Mai!" She stood up with a humph and sat down at another table where she began whispering hurriedly to her companions, who all turned and glared at the girl behind them, mumbling about "nerves of steel," until the princess sat down beside her.

Very few in her year were surprised to find no change in her whatsoever when they arrived for their final semester, even though they'd all heard what had happened that spring.

"Sorry about your fiancé, Mai."

"I appreciate your support."

"Didn't expect to see you back here, Mai..."

"Life must go on."

"How are you doing, Mai?"

"Just fine – thank you for asking."

"Mai, I'm so sorry about Zuko. I can't imagine what..." The girl shook her head and trailed off, words utterly failing her.

Mai inclined her head in acceptance of and gratitude for her sympathy, then said calmly, "Sometimes, things happen that you can't control. It's our duty to bear up and carry on regardless of what disappointments come our way."

"Are you all right, Mai? I heard about..."

She answered rather quickly, especially for her, "I'm fine, thank you kindly for asking."

"So what are you going to do now?" her roommate asked one morning.

"Whatever my parents decide is best," Mai replied, as if she was answering a history question about something that didn't concern her in the least.

Several pairs of eyes followed her at breakfast, stunned by how refreshed she looked after what must have been a very peaceful night's sleep. "Look at her."

"How does she do it? If _my_ fiancé was banished, I don't think I could ever sleep again."

"She's really brave, isn't she?"

"Really heartless, you mean."

"I don't think she even _knows_ how to care about anything."

"Why don't we go tell her that her parents were killed and her home destroyed in an earthquake – see what it takes to get a reaction?"

"Give her a break, girls."

"Why? She doesn't care."

"Yeah, you could tell her Zuko's ship was wrecked with no survivors, and you wouldn't even be able to tell if she heard you."

"Wonder what it's like, going through life with ice for blood?"

"Somebody should cut her a little just to make sure."

"She can hear you!"

"So what? She doesn't mind."

"You've got to stop thinking of her like a normal human, Rina."

"Yeah, she's not like us lesser mortals who can feel, remember? She's got nerves of steel."

"Well, I wish I had nerves like that."

"Me, too. She's the toughest girl I've ever met."

Everywhere Mai went that semester, she was followed by the same looks of admiration and disdain for the girl who looked like she hadn't shed a single tear for her lost lover. She performed as well in class as she did before, threw her knives as accurately as she always had, answered all questions and spoke of Prince Zuko with no more emotion than when she spoke about the weather.

Nobody noticed the moments when she was out on the training grounds alone and her hand wavered as she prepared to throw, suddenly picturing a weapon in the hand of a resistance fighter aimed at a Fire nation enemy. When her eyes shot open after a nightmare of flaming fists, lightning bolts, and violently stormy seas. When she lingered at a window facing south, gazing intently at the horizon. When she passed under an apple tree and closed her eyes, briefly transporting herself back to a different tree in a different garden that had watched so many pleasant scenes unfold below. When she looked aside with her eyes narrowed in pure hatred at the relation of yet another heroic tale about the great Fire Lord Ozai.

Nobody ever noticed because she had vowed they wouldn't. Every look or word the princess cast her way, every letter her parents sent her reminding her of her duty, reminded her of the necessity of that. No sign of fear or pain ever escaped her. She met Azula with no indication she was troubled by any events that had occurred, wrote home with no hint that she was harboring feelings her parents would not approve of and need to take steps to correct, let no one see anything that could arouse suspicion if the wrong people heard of it. Zuko had his own battle to fight, and Mai had hers.

It was harder on some days than others. "That Taichi seems to have taken quite a fancy to you," Azula whispered to her on one of the nights they sneaked out to a secret dance party in the nearby woods.

Mai shrugged and observed, "He might've been handsome, if it weren't for those close-set, beady eyes and weak chin."

"Do all the boys around here have weak chins?" Azula asked with a devious grin. "Is that why you rebuff _all_ of them?"

Those far less perceptive than Azula had long-since noticed that every boy in the Fire Nation seemed to think that the former betrothed of the former heir to throne would be a great conquest. "Boys are a waste of time," was the only comment Mai made on the subject now.

"Naturally," Azula agreed, "but I won't think less of you if you choose to have a little fun, enjoy the worship now and then. If they offer it to you without any need for effort or energy on your part to get their attention, why not take it? After all, it's not like you have any reason _not_ to accept a little attention from the opposite sex, right? There's nothing holding _you_ back, is there?"

Mai was still trying to calculate whether boredom or a headache would be the least suspicious excuse to leave when Taichi came over and asked her to dance. She took his hand without missing a beat. Fortunately, her customary attitude didn't require that she pretend to enjoy it.

"Fire Lord Sozin never told anyone how he defeated the last two Avatars. What we do know is that he killed Roku's successor while he or she was in what is known as the Avatar _State_, as the Airbender not only died, but the Avatar has not been reincarnated for a hundred years."

Azula stood up, and the professor instantly shut his mouth. "But all we know is that the Avatar hasn't been _seen_ for a hundred years," she said, grinning broadly. "Surely it's entirely possible the next incarnation, or maybe even the next one or two after, is out there _somewhere_..."

"Yeah," another girl piped up, eager to get on the princess' good side. "And they know we're looking for them, so each of them stays in hiding, knowing they can't beat us." Others shared their own theories and questions, as well.

Mai didn't hesitate to say what she knew Azula needed to hear from her to be satisfied: "Don't be ridiculous. Fire Lord Sozin knew what he needed to do, and he never would have gone home with his task only half-finished. He would have made sure the Avatar was destroyed permanently, and it was. There's no chance that anybody will ever see the Avatar again."

In such moments when she doubted whether or not she was strong enough keep it up, she only had to remember that everyone else believed she was. _You can do this, Mai_, she always told herself. _Everyone knows you can._ She had to be the brave girl everyone expected.

_Remember who you are. You can face anything. You're the brave one. Strong. Invulnerable. Unbreakable. Nerves of steel..._

It was when her uncle sent her a new set of knives for her birthday, when she held the freshly-forged blade in her hand and imagined where it had come from, that she remembered that even steel melted under strong-enough fire.

That was what made it strong.


End file.
